photo by neon_mamacita
by :: Anamaria
My mother arrived from Romania last week for a much anticipated, 3 month visit (I am already dreading February ‘10). Like any other Romanian mother that I know, she has been cooking ever since she got here. And I have been devouring the home cooked Romanian meals.
A couple of days ago, as I was slurping down delicious white bean soup with green onions on the side (onions that I would take big bites out of – yummy), my U.S. American husband looked at me and said, smiling:
You’ve turned on your Romanian, haven’t you?
I guess I have, I responded. But his comment left me thinking: I didn’t know I had turned it off.
Had I? When exactly did that happen?
As an immigrant living in the U.S., I am a big believer in holding on to my cultural roots. When I moved here, I searched for other Romanians living in the area, and a few of them became close friends.
I am very close to my family in Romania, as well as my Romanian family living in the U.S. I still read Romanian newspapers, only speak Romanian with my 18-month-old daughter, and have asked my mother to bring me Romanian children’s songs, movies, books and anything else she could find.
So when exactly did I turn off my Romanian?
Well, I guess it depends on what my husband meant by your Romanian. Since he made that comment over soup, it was clear to me that, in his mind, your Romanian was the tip of the iceberg stuff (in that particular example it was food).
Had I turned off THAT Romanian? I guess I had, because I never cook Romanian food. Before my mom came, if you asked me if I missed Romanian food, I would have said not too much. There are some foods I do miss, but not enough to make them. So, yes, when it comes to food, I guess I had turned my Romanian off. And then my mom arrived and turned it on again! How wonderful!
After a day reflecting on my husband’s comment, I happily concluded that I continue to be very Romanian in many other ways. Ways which cannot be turned off, at least for now.
But I also realized that, in the past 7 years since I have been living in the U.S., my Romanian was turned off in many other ways besides food. Ways which my mom’s visit is slowly bringing to the surface, because she now does some things differently than I do, or because I now do some things differently than she does.
Will these ways be turned on again as a result of the visit? How is it possible that one can turn something as powerful as culture on and then off again? Can we? What do you think?
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Anamaria – Good column. My observation is that a native culture doesn’t ‘get turned off’ but it does get modified (or “toned down” ) when you are living amongst other cultures.
Hi Bonnie, thank you for your comment. Yes, I agree with your observation: looking back, there are certainly aspects related to my native culture that got toned down, rather than turned off. I can’t help wondering, though: if some aspects of the native culture do get “turned off” (I still am not convinced that this does not happen), how would we know it? We are more likely to notice those aspects which are toned down, because another native can bring them back to the surface, even if temporarily. But are we ever aware of ALL the aspects that are “turned off”? Do we lose awareness of them once we’ve lost them? Not necessarily … not all of them, anyway.
Anamaria´s last blog ..I’ve ‘Turned on My Romanian’
Anamaria–I loved your column! I since Gabriel and I have met your Mother and tasted her homecooked food I know why you dread her departure in February. I relate to your observations about turning on and off your culture. When I go home to visit my Mother in South Carolina, I quickly fall in to the culture and norms that I grew up with–including speech, food, ways of relating, etc. When I return home to Raleigh, I adjust back to my current lifestyle. The transitions are seamless to me and I appreciate being able to go in and out of different “ways of being.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts and best regards to your Mother!